Crafts I Want to Punch in the Facecomments (48) March 23rd, 2009
In between the crafting and book writing, I’ve been having a blast writing my new humor blog, Things I Want to Punch in the Face. The best part of it is that it’s gotten my creative juices flowing. Isn’t that the best feeling? Feeling in a groove, inspiring yourself with your handiwork? When I’m struggling with a manuscript or a complicated craft project, which is pretty much all the time, I break and shoot off a diatribe of black humor.
A friend was concerned that writing a dark blog would make me toxic and negative. In fact, it’s had the opposite effect. It makes me supremely happy, especially when I get feedback from friends and strangers. I know I’m producing something unique, something that perfectly channels one of my many voices and perspectives. It’s not unlike making a new craft, something that draws upon your skills and takes them to the next level. When I mastered a cabled sweater, I was jazzed. When I used a torch to fuse silver, I felt a thrill down my spine. And when I write something that resonates with me, I am creatively sated…at least for the moment.
But there’s a lot of bad writing and bad crafting in my world. It got me to thinking about the crafty stuff that I want to punch in the face, the things that send me over the edge…at least for the moment.
Here are my top ten craft things I want to punch in the face. I hope you’ll add to the list.
10. Lack of storage space. I live in a small one-bedroom apartment. Consequently, craft supplies are squirreled away under the bed, in kitchen drawers and cabinets, behind the couch, in the linen closet, in the entertainment center, you name it. I keep trying to feng shui. My craft supplies keep protesting, even when they are in the creative area.
9. Everything’s a hazard. Because I live in a tiny space crammed with crafting supplies, my friends with kids can never come over (even I feel at risk some of the time). Little ones could choke on a bead or button, suck on some tacky glue, or find a creative way to injure themselves if our eyes aren’t peeled. So I always visit their playpens.
8. Ripping out stitches. Whether it’s knitting or sewing, I hate undoing work, no matter if it took me two hours or ten minutes.
7. Unrealistic requests. I’m an alterations and repair one-stop shop. I love helping noncrafty friends when I can, but sometimes they don’t realize just how much work or time goes into something. I’ve been asked to replace the backing on a quilt, knit a shawl, knit a sweater, patch a sofa, make drapes, and reline a winter coat. I guess I should be flattered they think so much of my abilities.
6. Knitting at the wrong gauge. I am lazy and impatient but after knitting too many giant or Munchkin-sized garments, I’ve learned to swatch for any new yarn or pattern.
5. Running out of bobbin thread. D’oh! I always think I can finish one last seam before I run out of thread in the bobbin. I am always wrong.
4. Beads that aren’t drilled properly. I’ve learned my lesson, but I have bought a lot of semiprecious gems that weren’t drilled through or drilled straight. I couldn’t get cord or silver wire through the hole. These days, I always try to feed SoftFlex or 26-gauge wire through before buying.
3. Disappearing tools. I’ve loaned out a torch or pliers or a Dremel tool for a friend’s project, never see it again.
2. Multiplying materials. On the flip side, I often duplicate tools and materials when I’m out and about. I forget what size knitting needles I have at home when gathering materials for a new project at the yarn shop. I buy beads I’m pretty sure will match the gorgeous pendant on my bead board, only to find the shades or sizes are off.
1. Price questioning. It sucks when I underprice a handcrafted item because I don’t value my time and skill. It’s even worse when I finally ask a fair price and it’s questioned by chuckleheads.
What irritates you about crafting?
Or does it always bring you bliss?